Would You Like It Gift Wrapped?
by AirbenderBigMac
Summary: First story ever! Kyoya's stuck in a department store, looking for the perfect gift. Can the twins assist him, or will they just drive him crazy? Read on to find out! Based off a scene in Love Actually. Just a funny oneshot.


_Okay, this is my first story, so don't murder me with very pointy things if it stinks. This is based off the famous scene in the movie Love Actually (.com/watch?v=XuhdWVe00wE) Best movie scene ever, in my opinion. **I don't own Ouran High School Host Club. If I did, I would be filthy rich.**_

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Kyoya was _not_ the romantic type. As an Ootori, he tended to stay down-to-earth and remained calm most of the time. However, he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep a cool head with his least favorite holiday just around the corner.

It was just a short trip to a department store, but the former Host knew there was no avoiding it this time. Leaving his wife in the shoe department, Kyoya raced to the branch of the store he knew he would regret the most: the jewelry section.

_Okay, quickly,_ he thought, frantically scanning the glass counters for something she might like, _you don't want to run into—_

"Sempai?!" two voices exclaimed in unison. Kyoya sucked in a breath as a pair of identical redheads popped up from behind the counter. Why, out of all the jewelry stores, did the Hitachiins come to own _this_ particular one?

"Will you look at this, Kaoru?" the boy on the right said, "The great Master Ootori forgot to get something for the missus for Valentine's Day."

"It sure is a shame, Hikaru," the one on the left replied, shaking his head, "We should call and tell her."

"Just shut up, will you?" Kyoya growled impatiently, "If she knew I was down here, I would never hear the end of it. From here on out, I am just another customer, do you understand? Or would you rather have your profits down the drain?"

The twins smiled mischievously, then straightened up properly.

"Well, are you looking for anything in particular, sir?" Hikaru asked politely.

Kyoya searched the counters before deciding on something. "That necklace there. How much is it?"

"37,500 yen," Kaoru answered promptly.

"All right, I'll buy it," the megane said unenthusiastically.

"Lovely," Hikaru smiled, picking up the gold pendant Kyoya had pointed to.

"Would you like it…gift-wrapped?" they both asked eagerly.

Kyoya rolled his eyes. _Anything_ to get him out of there as fast as possible. "Yeah, all right."

The doppelgangers exchanged a sly grin and dove under the counter, retrieving a white jewelry box and a gold ribbon. "Now, we'll just pop it in the box," Kaoru announced, as if he were on some kind of TV show.

"Look, can we be quite quick about this?" Kyoya asked irritably.

"Of course, sir," Kaoru answered.

"Ready in the _flashiest_ of flashes, sir," Hikaru added.

Kyoya was getting uneasy. His wife was bound to start searching for him, and these idiotic twins were taking the slowest amount of time possible to tie a simple bow around the box with the ribbon. "Perfect," they said together.

"Great," Kyoya said gratefully, reaching for the wrapped gift. Hikaru smacked his hand away.

"Not quite finished," he said in a singsong voice as his brother withdrew a cellophane bag from underneath the counter.

"I don't need a bag," Kyoya objected, "I could just put it my pocket--"

"Oh, this isn't a bag, sir," Kaoru said, almost insulted at the remark.

Kyoya frowned skeptically, "Really?"

"This is _so_ much more than a bag," the owners corrected him.

One of them yanked open a drawer that was filled with roses, while the other dug several out with a candy scoop, dropping them into the bag with a wave of his arms. Kyoya started tapping his fingers on the table in annoyance, "Could we be _quite quick_, please?"

"_Prontissimo_!" they said joyously. Hikaru tugged a second drawer that was filled with pine needles, breaking a few and dropping them, one by one, in with the necklace. Kaoru pulled out a cinnamon stick and tied it to the opening of the bag.

"What's _that_?!" Kyoya almost yelled at them in frustration.

"It's a cinnamon stick, sir," Kaoru said matter-of-factly.

"Actually, I really can't wait much longer--"

"Oh, you won't regret it, sir," Hikaru assured him.

"Wanna bet?"

The twins were grinning from ear to ear now.

"It is only the work of a moment," Kaoru said expertly.

Kyoya groaned, "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

They didn't answer, but said, "Almost finished, sir."

"Almost finished? What else can there be? Are you going to dip it yogurt?" he snarled at the two, "Cover it with chocolate buttons?"

"Oh, no sir. We're going to pop it in the gift box," Hikaru snickered, drawing one out of nowhere.

"But I don't want a gift box." Kyoya was practically whining now.

"But you _said_ you wanted it gift-wrapped," Kaoru said, unable to contain his laughter.

"This is the final flourish," Hikaru promised.

"Look, can I just pay?"

"All we need now…is a sprig of holly."

That's where Kyoya drew the line, "No! No bloody holly!"

The twins shrank back at his outburst, then smiled as a familiar girl's hand tapped his shoulder.

"Ooh! Loitering around the jewelry section, I see?"

Kyoya's heart sank as he turned around to face his wife.

"N-no, Renge. I was just saying hello to the twins--"

"Don't worry," Renge laughed, "My expectations for you aren't that high after five years of Mr. 'Oh, but you've always _loved_ scarves.'"

Kyoya sighed in relief and walked away with his wife. He felt his cell phone vibrate, and a text from the twins said:

**u can pay us back l8ter.**

He dug his hand into his pocket, and was positive he felt a small jewelry box in there. He looked back at the twins, grinning and mouthing "thanks" to them. He had never seen the Hitachiins look so pleased with themselves.

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_Aww...poor Kyoya..._

_And like I said, here's the scene from the movie! (.com/watch?v=XuhdWVe00wE)_

_Well, that's it for my first ever fanfic. Tell me what you think! Constructive criticism is always appreciated!_


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